Celebrating Love

So yes, we are all still living, but just barely. I have been so busy working I'm not sure what the last few weeks has been can really be deemed as "living". I'm hoping at some point here I can actually get ahead of the game and appreciate the business for what it is: income. Right now, it just feels like huge blocks of pressure weighing me down constantly.
But we did spend our Valentine's Day doing something a little unexpected. We took Ashton to see the open house of the Draper Temple on Saturday afternoon with David's family. I don't think my mother-in-law planned it that way, but it ended up being a nice way to celebrate the one day a year dedicated to love. I don't often wax spiritual on these pages, but I have found myself needing a little extra help to bolster my endurance as of late with all the added stress so my thoughts turn spiritual a lot more often lately. It was nice to walk Ashton through all the rooms and answer his questions about everything from the baptismal font to the pictures hanging on the walls. He is growing up so fast and my heart aches each time he outgrows yet another pair of pants. What will I do when my little guy doesn't want to hold my hand any more or freely give me hugs and kisses? Heaven knows his little brother ain't doling them out to me (see various posts regarding Zander's sadly detached feelings towards his mother, which is still ongoing despite my efforts).
This also happens to be my 100th post, but minus all the fanfare or fun drawings that I have seen many of you do. Maybe someday soon, right now I am just too tired and in need of more quality time with my boys and less time in front of the computer.
But on the subject of love, Ashton did the sweetest thing on Valentine's morning when we were eating breakfast and handing out some little cards we got. No diss against David but he just hadn't made it out yet to get the cards for me so when we were giving all of ours to him and I had some for the boys, Ashton quietly snuck out for a few minutes. He came waltzing into the kitchen with a huge grin on his face and something behind his back. Moments later he proudly revealed his surprise: a gold, plastic angel figure with strange protrusions on its back was clutched inside his little fingers.
It took me just a second to realize it was the figurehead that came attached to the front of his Pirates of the Caribbean Pirate ship. "Happy Valentine's Mommy," he said. "I couldn't let you not get anything too and it was the only thing in my room I could find that girls like."
"Oh," he added as he climbed back up into his seat to finish his eggs, "you are really skinny too."
Please don't let moments like this end....
Oh and speaking of "love", Zander decided he needed to spread a little of his around. This morning I went into his room at 7:30 to find he had removed all his clothing and his stinky, dirty diaper of which he had smeared the contents of all over his crib. Just as I was about to lose it, the hugest grin spread over his face and he laughed his head off when he saw me. Despite my disgust, I couldn't help but still love the little guy. But, honestly, is this really my child?